The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
- Step 1: You Will Need...
- 1 bottle Old Janx Spirit
- 2 cups seawater from Santraginus V
- 1 Tray Arcturan Mega-gin Ice Cubes
- 50 Litres Fallian marsh gas
- 1 Silver Spoon
- 100 ml Qualactin Hypermint extract
- 10 teeth of an Algolian Suntiger
- 100ml Zamphour
- 10 Olives
- 1 Jumbo Cocktail mixer (Acidproof)
- 10 cocktail glasses
- 2 Heads
- 2 Gas masks
- 2 Safety goggles
- Step 2: Make the Main Body of the PGGB
- Pour the Ol' Janx Spirit and the Seawater into the jumbo cocktail mixer. Make sure you are not doing this in a high rise, as if any is spilled it will burn through solid concrete.
- Step 3: Define the Texture
- Melt the Ice cubes into the mixture. Make sure they are completely solid until after they have come into contact with the solution. Bubble the Fallian Marsh Gas through the mixture. Inhale some and give a thought in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
- Step 4: Refine the Taste
- Pour the Qualactin Hypermint extract in over the back of the silver spoon. The mixture should emit heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones.
- Step 5: Create the Heart of the Drink, the Inner Flame
- Drop in the suntiger's tooth. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
- Step 6: Mix the Cocktail
- It doesn't matter whether you shake or stir. Really, it doesn't. You can't taste the difference. Actually, afterwards, you can't taste anything at all...
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