The Infinite Improbability Drive Ship Heart of Gold.

Another view of the Heart of Gold.
The Heart of Gold is 150 metres long. It is shaped like a running shoe, and it is generally rather white.

The cabin is mostly white, oblong and about the size of a smallish restaurant. It is not, however, perfectly oblong. Two long walls have been raked round in a slight parallel curve. All of the angles and corners of the cabin are contoured in excitingly chunky shapes. The truth of the matter is that it would have been a great deal simpler and more practical to build the cabin as an ordinary three-dimensional oblong room, but then the designers would have got miserable. The cabin looks excitingly purposeful. There are large video screens ranging over control and guidance system panels on the concave wall, and long banks of computers set into the convex wall.

The unique thing about the Heart of Gold is that it is powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, which is a small golden box at the heart of the ship (hence its name). This is of course powered by an infinite improbability generator -- powered essentially by a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain, an atomic vector plotter and a strong Brownian Motion generator such as a nice, hot cup of tea -- as soon as the ship's drive reaches infinite improbability, it passes through every point in the Universe, thus allowing the ship to go anywhere without all of that mucking about with hyperspace and what not, causing near-impossible, utterly ridiculous things to happen, such as the whole ship zooming across space to its destination in a matter of hours.

The entire ship is outfitted with the latest GPP (Genuine People Personalities) utilising technology. All the doors in the spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close with the knowledge of a job well done. For better or for worse, Marvin the Paranoid Android, who came with the ship, has a very depressing GPP prototype.

The ship was recently stolen by Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox from the ceremony on Damogran at which he was supposed to be launching it.


This page © 2001, 2004 Owen E. Oulton